Skateboard – 2

NOTE :

The language used in this post is highly explicit for which I apologise beforehand. A friend pointed this out and needless to say that I am thankful.
In the last post :

The kewl dude loses a ton load of weight and goes on let-us-go-kewl drive by acquiring SMD ( Skateboard of Mass Destruction ). His attempts to make the board move fail as he is thrown back in his second attempt.

Read on :

He felt the heat of the room and was sweating. He opened his eyes to see many wingmates standing near him. "He's back," someone shouted.

"He's back. Oh god he's bac…you're back," said Sobit ( acronym " Son of a bitch ")

"I..I am back. Was that the name? Back..Back..what's my surname?"

"Shit" "Back Shit hmmm sounds kewl.."

"Oh no He's not back…he's gone"

"So ya mean I am Gone Shit??"

"No mann you seem to have forgotten stuff or are you Kidding?"

"Shut up now butthead. Back Shit, Gone Shit, Kidding Shit. One is enough and I like Gone Shit."

"Someone call the doctor please!" said Sobit in a concerned tone.

"What's this place by the way? Your place. It's hot man." said the kewl dude.

"This is hospital kewl. You seriously don't remember your name?"

"I do." "You do, what's your name?" "Gone Shit you Son Of A Bitch!"

"He remembers my name but not his name," said Sobit to others and turned to kewl, "Mann your name is Kewl…"

"Now look here butthead I am not gonna live with shitload of names alright. And tell me why the hell am I here?"

"You fell down from a skateboard. Recall skateboard, Airstrip road…"

By this time Kewl's head was dizzy all he could here was 'ate a board, strip on' et cetera.

"Water."

"No, blood. There was blood, you lost blood"

"I need water you sonovabitch."

"Ohh here it is kewl."

"Look here now, I am Gone Shit I am not Kewl. SO someone willing to tell me why I am here?" said Kewl while drinking water.

"You fell down from skateboard and smashed your head on the road. Lost blood and were brought here."

"Oh gory details. Blood…water!!"

"No it was blood!!" "No! I want water." Sobit gave him water again. He drank and tried to move.

"Ahh, it hurts," said Kewl with hand on his head. He continued, " So anybody interested in telling why I am here?"

"What the fuck, I just finished telling you that fuckhead!"

"Hmmm, fuckhead. Hmm..was that the name? What's my surname?"

"Shutup Goddamnit." "Now now, the middle name's interesting. Fuckhead Shutup Goddamnit. Surname is good too."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr…is the doc here?" asked Sobit, frustrated.

"Ya he is coming," said Farty, another wingmate.

Enter Doc. "So you up Kewl? Good." "Who are you? And I am not Kewl, I am Goddamnit. Fuckhead Shutup Goddamnit!!"

"What's with him? Gone mad or what?" asked Doc.

"That's for you to see I suppose," said Farty.

"Will somebody bother to tell me why I am here?? And someone gimme water!" shouted Kewl.

"Doc, please come here for a second." and Sobit dragged the doctor to a corner. "This is the fourth time he is asking that. Do you think…"

"It might be.." "Yeah I also think so," said Farty. "So what do we do?"

Doc said : " Give him water. But I dunno how this injury led to water loss."

"Doc, blood loss. You bandaged him. Blood loss NOT water loss."

"Mann you said you also think that he has undergone dehydration. I know he suffred blood loss but since you are saying it's the fourth time…." Just then Kewl cut in, " Water!!!"

"Shutup!!!" cried Doc, Farty and Sobit.

"Fuck you, Don't you call me by my Father's name."

"Just shut up Dimwit."

"Hmm..dimwit. Was that the name? Hmm.."

"See that's what I am saying Doc. Not dehydration, he seems to have forgotten stuff."

"Ohh so that's what you were talking about?" asked Doc. "Yes," said Sobit.

"But I thought you were talking about hitting him hard on the head so that he stops asking those questions." said Farty.

"Shutup Farty." said Sobit.

"The case is more complicated than I thought it to be. Memory loss. We need to know whether it is permanent or short term. In any case we need to be quick." Doc's tone was urgent.

"HOw do we do it?" "See I will arrange for his brain's MRI meanwhile you ask him questions. Try to know whether he remembers something from the past. Just try to help him recall stuff. OKay. Do it. I will be back in half an hour."

"Okay Doc. Cya" said Sobit and Farty. The doctor left and out friends reached for Kewl.

To be continued…

 

Skateboard – 1

There was a boy who weighed 91 kilo. Enter JEE results and he went to IITK. He was told this : "You walk in as a boy, you walk out as a man." But for him the story turned out to be different. He walked in as an elephant and is now a chopstick. For him it was the Weight of 69 ( 71 actually ).

Now this boy thought of getting cool. Cool as in kept-in-Kelvinator-the-coolest-one Kewl. So he got a skateboard on his 19th birthday. He brought it to the campus with him and one fine morning he decided to try the skateboard. The skateboard was taken to the temple at MT. The pundit put holy symbols and water on skateboard and the boy's forehead. Nariyal badhara gaya. And with the usual Rs. 5 daan the ritual ended. The boy took the skateboard to the road beside the airstrip and went on his skating spree.

For about an hour he tried and tried but the skateboard refused to move. It was so unmoving that for once I wanted to name this post : The little skateboard that wouldn't. Then somehow a new way striked the boy's mind. He restarted the attempt and for about a split second the strategy seemed to work. The board moved and so did the boy but it was only that the board moved sans the boy who instead fell down and rolled on the road; better than the board. Our kewl dude stood up with strained wrist and bruised palm. But the dude had the solution. He took out iodex spray from the side pocket, applied it and started again. What determination!!

The boy took a breather, had some pushups and jumps and retrieved the board from the grassy vicinity where some sonovabitch snake was trying to use it. The second attempt began and…ended almost at the same time. The skateboard remained where it was and the boy was thrown backward. The rest as they say is history. But I will take the troubles to tell you about that in the next post.

silly rhymes,

sk8erboy